Make Believe Melodies For January 2, 2022: Kohaku Review Edition

"You Want Me On That Wall, You Need Me On That Wall!"

Jan 02, 2022

Say a prayer for my in-laws. Nobody in my extended family cares about Kohaku Uta Gassen, national broadcaster NHK’s year-end music bonanza broadcast since 1951 (which…my parents-in-law are both older than, for reference). Yet my presence this New Year’s Eve prompted them — because my job is English-language music journalist, or at least its one way to describe me — to leave Kohaku on the TV on four all four hours despite only me being interested in, like, Awesome City Club singing in front of some flowers and the now-annual kendama record break (finale pictured above).

That’s a sign of true love…or that they’ve given up…and I thank them for it, because it allows me to do this special edition of the newsletter.

YOASOBI — “Gunjou” (performance snippet here)

My biggest takeaway from Kohaku 2021…they should rotate the venue every year, because the best parts of the show were when they used the whole buffalo of Tokyo International Forum and had artists like YOASOBI perform while descending down elevators and singing in empty plazas. It reminded me of WWE, when they’d do like Halftime Heat, and have dudes beat one another up in empty concourses and kitchens. NHK Studio in Shibuya is boring…being forced out over the last two years (whether due to pandemic, forcing a lot of honest-to-goodness creativity, or renovation) has been great, resulting in some memorable moments.

YOASOBI can count their performance of “Gunjou” as one highlight of the 2021 edition. Other assisting factor — this being one of the duo’s best songs, primarily because it’s one of the only J-pop songs in recent memory to make its Sakanaction influence clear (the choirs!).

Mafumafu — “Inochi Ni Kirawe Rete Iru”

Who is Kohaku for anymore? It’s a good question — this is a show that once existed as the literal only televised entertainment option in Japan, but then content multiplied and fragmented and, today, is simply an option. Yet despite the dearth of options ranging from RIZN fights to comedy specials to YouTube livestreams to just turning on Netflix…Kohaku is the only New Year’s programming still obsess over. Of course ratings were down at new lows this year, because it’s 2022 and nobody has to watch Kohaku anymore. Yet a surprising amount of people still do…for all the huffing and puffing, Kohakku is easily the most watched special from this year, aided by no Gaki No Tsukai, the one show that could really compete (it’s the one the family would flip to when they could).

Which isn’t to say decreasing ratings, even in a rapidly changing media scape, are something NHK will ignore! This year’s Kohaku featured a handful of very un-Kohaku moments — the most noteworthy was the anime-and-video-game celebration kicking off the second half, which my sister-in-law described as “is this Nico Nico Douga?” The other big detour was Vocaloid-scene-born-YouTube-huge performer Mafumafu’s debut on the show, the highlight of the evening and an obvious stab at trying to get a new demographic tuned in. Besides connecting nicely with the current glum-is-me attitude of J-pop despite being a couple years ahead of it going mainstream, it was also the most purely youthful thing on the show, and Mafumafu’s vocal performance alone locked them down as my MVP, regardless of how they were being positioned.

Ado — “Usseewa” (Japan Record Awards Medley)

Though…NHK clearly missed out on the pulse of J-pop in 2021. “Is this that…’Usseewa!’ lady?” my mother-in-law asked midway through Mafumafu’s performance. Thank goodness she had me to say “actually……” Yet it was a reminder that Ado’s breakthrough hit…which wasn’t featured on Kohaku but did appear on the Japan Records Award show…was the real zeitgeist hit of the past year, and it wasn’t present on what is billed as the year’s biggest music show. That’s a problem.

Masayuki Suzuki — “Megumi No Hito 2021 Kohaku Version”

NHK紅白歌合戦 @nhk_kouhaku

⬜️鈴木雅之さんで『め組のひと 2021紅白ver.』でした！会場中「めッ」ポーズの嵐✌️🌟 #桑野信義さん #佐藤義雄さんも最高でした🎺 🔻NHKプラスでスマホからも📱⚡️ plus.nhk.jp/watch/st/g1_20… #NHK紅白 #鈴木雅之

NHK definitely suffers from lag time. One of the big nods to the internet as we know it today came from Masayuki Suzuki, who performed the song “Megumi No Hito,” which was a TikTok trend…like three years ago, via somewhat-nightcored Koda Kumi, which I wrote about in 2018. At least they didn’t bring together his original group that made it noteworthy during the Bubble. If NHK wanted Kohaku to feel like it was on the pulse, it would have had, like, Mom and WurtS and the Eastern Europeans who did “Chernobyl 2017” together for a medley. Instead, they just feel old.

millenium parade And Belle (Kaho Nakamura) — “U” (Snippet Here)

“Kohaku sure has changed a lot.” That was my mother-in-law to my father-in-law while millennium parade and Kaho Nakamura were performing “U.” I love them, but they are totally wrong…like, there were multiple enka singers after this, not to mention people who have double-digit appearances on this show under their belt. Yet I get why seeing a gaggle of masked performers and Where The Wild Things Are-esque singers would throw the 70-plus crowd off. This was one of the wilder additions to Kohaku 2021…my second favorite performance, only behind Mafumafu’s vocal fireworks…and one of the better curveballs thrown at this year’s program. Really, Kohaku should lean even further into anime-adjacent music, even if it makes the eww-weebs crowd uncomfortable. This is where popular Japanese culture rests, and a lot of the music associated with it is great. If you really want a different audience, this is the way to go.

BiSH — “Promise The Star”

Does Kohaku have to be a ratings winner? This is a pretty old-fashioned way of thinking about TV…no shortage of people follow along via YouTube livestreams, or just keep refreshing Twitter. For all of the collar-tugging over TV metrics, Kohaku still dominates conversation, both over who actually appears on the show and what happens on New Year’s Eve. “Alternative idols” BiSH offered one of the more divisive…and thus viral…performances of the night with “Promise The Star,” which some outlets hailed as a masterpiece for its rawness, while others were left scratching their heads…including one of my dearest friends, totally divorced from Japanese music but tuning in, texting me “why would they let such bad vocalists on their show?” As someone who remembers and cherishes “STUPiG,” none of it is that shocking or interesting…but it does remind of how much of a social media subject this show is.

Ken Matsudaira — “Matsuken Samba II” (Snippet Here)

Bless Japanese media, which focuses on the immediate facts of an event coupled with the hard data, but often overlooks the narratives bubbling up in various pop culture creations. Kohaku 2021 was the latest effort to retrofix the Tokyo 2020 Olympic Opening Ceremony, bringing in pop culture heavyweights (the second-half opener, most clearly highlighted by the Dragon Quest bit) alongside Misia, Perfume and more associated with the Games in some way or another, alongside a late video package reminding “hey, this happened, remember this? It was a big deal.” It was “Matsuken Samba II” though that was most obvious about all this, though. Kohakku was just the latest TV show in Japan to take the song — which netizens wanted to see performed during the July event — and put it in the spotlight, offering viewers an alternate reality of what could have been.

It also underlined another important element of Kohaku that NHK shouldn’t lose sight of…let the show be goofy. This year’s event was a little too serious for its own good, when in reality a music variety show should go big on the cheese. “Matsuken Samba II” provided one example of just that, letting the national broadcaster lower its guard and have some fun in the process. Who cares about ratings or legacy…if you just want to be something people enjoy, like my in-laws, who actually paid attention to this bit, don’t be afraid to get kitschy.

Oricon Trail For The Week Of December 20, 2021 To December 26, 2021

Back in the day, the Oricon Music Charts were the go-to path to music stardom in Japan. Acts of all sorts traversed these lands, trying to sell as many CDs as possible in order to land a good ranking on a chart choosing to only count physical sales, even as the Internet came to be and the number of versions offered for sale got ridiculous. Today, with the country finally in on the digital, these roads are more barren and only looked at by the most fanatic of supporters needing something to celebrate. Yet every week, a new song sells enough plastic to take the top spot. So let’s take a trip down…the Oricon Trail.

BUMP OF CHICKEN — “Nanairo” (105,366 Copies Sold)

The end of the year is always wonky…but I think rockers BUMP OF CHICKEN outselling idols such as NGT48 and Juice=Juice is a reminder of how much power prestige groups like this have in the Japanese market. While not able to surpass the top level pop outfits in the nation that draw a fervent fan following, an outfit like BUMP is able to easily trump the mid-card, and might have more clout on most J-pop depending on what angle you look at them from. All the more impressive, that they manage that by rehashing ideas they’ve been running into the ground for a decade-plus.

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